i was shivering inside.

i don't have faith in other people's feelings.

if i'm not reminded of exactly how you feel every other day, i forget.

i don't forget what happened or what was said, but i forget that it meant anything.

it had been a few days since i was convinced about him.

he calls me while i'm sleeping. i call him back a few minutes later.

he can't leave the army for a few weeks & it hurts beyond belief.

but as we're getting ready to hang up he says, "i love you."

i tell him i love him too, & he says,

"you promise?"

"i promise," i said.

he hesitates, "forever?"

"forever."

i can hear him smile - his tone always changes when he smiles, "okay. goodnight."

& i hate that i wasn't lying.

before & after