need you like water in my lungs.

i was concerned when i got out of my car this afternoon. i'm excessively vain, so looking like i've just been crying isn't big on my list of good things.

i looked in the mirror & i looked perfectly fine. i was crying & it didn't even show.

i didn't feel human then.

but later after requests & punches i cried. i mean i really cried, the kind where you don't care how you look, how loud you are, or who sees you.

i haven't done that in so long. it was all built up.

but now i'm going out & when i look in the mirror, i look sad.

i've never looked sad before.

before & after