my pretty mouth will form the phrases that will disprove your faith in man.

come saturday night, there's gonna be a hotel room with our name on it.

he wants "a place to be alone, to sleep & cuddle"

i just want to get laid.

but i promised to be pressure-free, his self esteem issues are unending.

so i do the cute things, 3am text messages like "i miss you" & he wants so much out of this.

i feel like such a skeeze. or maybe a man. maybe a skeezy man.

i'm a little out of my league here. he wants romance & i flat out don't remember what that's like.

i thought i used to be a romantic. i thought i used to want to be close but now i'm just like, "sup entertainment, get me through the night."

no no. that's a lie. i mean the thing is that i always was & still am a romantic in that when i'm the only one awake at parties or when i'm roadtripping to new york & i don't know why i want someone to fucking hold me.

& when it's the right guy, i'm still all love songs & poems in my head. it's just i'll never show it, because that's just not my style.

but the thing that's getting me, he used to be that right guy. for years & years & years. six maybe? even when other loves rolled around, he'd hang around in the background, the best friend. & i loved him.

i'm still not being fully honest. i feel as if i owe him this. like maybe i owe that romantic hope that you really can find comfort in other people, because something in me still believes that, even when i can't find it.

i remember when i used to be monumental. i think there was some sort of mission nonstatement, "no life untouched"

before & after