you might be lonely, but i'm still by your side.

he got me thinking.

my best friend of years, the love of my life until bigger things came along.

his girlfriend broke up with him today, she's unstable so maybe not forever, but for today, they're not together.

he's upset, understandably.

i listened to him talk; first, listened to the voicemail he left, sounding down-trodden, begging me to call him because he needed me. i knew what it was about.

so we talk & i try to help. & i listen to him, & i'm like, "i don't want to be this."

i found someone who i could commiserate with & i realized i didn't want this.

oh, this army bum of mine. works like hell, but never has any money. his cell phone is shut off. his drivers license is suspended. he doesn't have internet in his room.

but he has internet at work.

so i messaged him, like i didn't cry for two hours yesterday, like i haven't hated him for being silent for the better part of two weeks.

"i was switching purses today, found all your quarters & it made me laugh for about five minutes straight.

i love you."

so maybe writing doesn't matter, maybe he's done & won't answer me. maybe technology has ruined all our loves, our lives, our love lives, & everything else. maybe i don't care, because i don't want to let you go.

before & after