hunger hurts, but starving works when it costs too much to love.

you say you grew up fast but honestly, i'm having trouble just believing you grew up. "i loved someone once, but she left me & now i'll never be okay."

get over it. be a man. moving on is worthless if you never get over it - it's worse when you drag around the thing you like to pretend you're moving from.

you don't have my sympathy, you just sort of make me nauseous when i realize how things are. i wouldn't mind if this weren't so hopeless.

why should i stay? give me a reason. i would put money on it not being possible. i can't stay if you don't want me, & you don't. you so don't.

i don't care how you feel when you're with me; your feelings are meaningless. unless i'm within a few miles of you, you just don't care. i'm not okay with that, so leave your momentary feelings behind.

fix this. make this something. just make it all fit together, maybe make it cheap because this is all wrong & i can't deal with that.

i apologize for seeing you as an answer to something, to some question i'd been carrying around. i get it now, it's okay. i just didn't mean to put you in that position, noone should ever be seen as an answer when we are not, we're not answers, not solutions. we're people, & maybe that doesn't sound like much but if you know what you're doing it's enough.

your life isn't a math equation; if it is i certainly don't fit into it.

i must thank you for confusion, though. i haven't had that in so long & it's just nice to feel, although i've certainly gotten sick of that a few times recently.

i don't know what happens now. i mean it would kind of be amazing if you responded.

i'm still surprised. i wanted so much here. i wanted so many things out of this, love seemed fitting. maybe we weren't in love, but it always felt like this amazing thing. but bottom line, you can't live up to my expectations, & i can't live up to this ghost.

i don't know when i got so honest, but i feel much less sane, although overall, i think i'm having an alright time.

the thing about honesty, the reason i could never be an honest person, is that i change too much. my thoughts, feelings, those things don't last. they might come back around, but their duration is never long.

overall? i want to spend all my time with you.

i guess maybe i'd like a response.

before & after