now there's a whole wide world that wants to know,have cheap hotels lost their turn-on?

so here's the thing.

remember how i promised i'd never give up on you?

i lied. i really did.

but i'm not giving up in the way you think. this might be worse.

i can wait around for you as your friend. & i can wait around as the girl you sleep with. but i can't wait around as your girlfriend.

so please, let's not do this...don't act like it matters. don't feign feelings. don't act like it will change you. i'm not your salvation, i'm not your girlfriend, i'm not your lover. i'm just the girl who will crawl into your hotel bed or your monte carlo. don't act like it saddens you.

i don't even think this will be much of a change for you. for me, it will, because i had greater expectations than i let on.

i guess i'm just saying...i can't expect you to hold me anymore. maybe you need it. maybe you need to hold & be held, fine, alright. i can abide, but don't let it be about me. this is always going to hurt.

what was the point of it? why do you even bother, when you don't see me when it matters? i turned my phone off for awhile, but i guess you didn't call. now it's on, open. but you're not calling. why aren't you calling? what is wrong here?

you know, i didn't say anything so big, not so big for things to be this awkward.

you called & it was worthless. i didn't talk about the issues, didn't have the heart to. you sounded tired. you must still be wondering why i wanted you to call at all. i'm wondering too. maybe you should have called earlier.

all i said, all i said was that i was the girl in a death cab for cutie song. tiny vessels, it's so me. i doubt you even know the song. but i bet you looked it up & now you're hurt or concerned or angry. i just can't tell. i don't care.

just....get out of my skin. i didn't want you there in the first place.

before & after