i plan on telling him i regret him, because i know it will make him hurt.

this love is making me so antisocial.

i despise it.

in other news,

since last night's possible confession of love, i feel uncomfortable. & this upsets him.

...upsets him. fucking, good. why shouldn't he be upset too?

before he went to sleep he begged me, "don't feel uncomfortable with me."

but it's nothing i can help. i don't understand why i'm honest around him, but i can't stand feeling like this.

this past month has been...stupid. it has been STUPID.

i go from having a ridiculous grin plastered to my face, to bursting into tears, to wanting to punch something. not necessarily in that order.

i just want to be alright. i don't get how this all happened again.

but i wish it didn't.

before & after